Controlling emotions are damn so hard,

When my heart is screaming with pain and hate towards the my loved one,

When I see that i am being treated with inequality compared with my own people,

When my soul says to leave the threads of relationships which i am born with,

When I am lesser than any other in my own family,

When shaitan whispers to hate and break in depression and relations,

It becomes hardest to hold onto my faith of being in Islam and living for Allah swt is the hardest.

I cry only in front of him deep in heart,

I ask begging only to him to make better than happening,

Realizing that he knows more than i do, comforts my pain,

When i know he has more than my knowledge is the way towards soothing soul.

When i trust the one rule, Allah is the master of everything, one rule that is living a life in Islam is better than anything in world, one rule that my reward for patience is unpredictable from him is helping me to ease.

But still I am a human who holds emotions so high and deep, I know constant keeping myself on the right path with reminders that Allah swt is the best planner is difficult, we feel pain and it is sharper than anyone can see, but the one who holds it right with Islam is important.

Reminder, its okay, he gives the respect whomsoever he will and takes respect whomsoever he wills,

He the king of blessings, when he blesses no power denies it, and he never ignores the pain and patience we share and trust on him, he never leaves me alone, he will never reject my prayers but accept it or replace it with better or bless on the day of akhira.

Trusting the plan is difficult when people around is pain, their behaviour, pain that they are my family who are behaving like this, the pain of not being to run away, break the relationship, walk out, only lord of hearts knows it, sees it and consuls it.

Person who are in such pain remember that we always have the one Allah swt, who knows what better is coming for us.

Hold trust and faith stronger than sword in the battle of life.

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